Friday 19 August 2016

"She was asking for it" - A guide for idiotic males on sexual protocol

A couple of days ago, I overheard a rather disturbing conversation on the train home from a nights drinking. As the father of a teenage girl, I thought I'd impart some helpfl advice for confused men, who clearly don't really understand sexual protocol.

There were several sweaty, middle aged men, who'd clearly been even more liberal in drink than I had been, who were somewhat worse for wear. They boarded with me at Farringdon. At St Pancras, a group of teenager girls alighted. Amongst this group, most were taking advantage of a warm summer night to wear a rather minimal amount of clothing. They too were raucously inebriated and clearly having a rather good time.

As the train progressed the group of males made several loud comments and the girls moved away. One of them then stated "They are asking for it, going out dressed like that". I am not quite sure what they were asking for, but I am pretty sure that what they weren't asking for was sexual attention from a group of rather fat and ugly sweaty males.

So I thought I'd set out a little list of what is asking for it and what isn't.

Examples of asking for it.

1. If a woman comes up to you and invites you to have consensual sex, she is asking for it.

Examples of not asking for it.

1. Wearing clothes that make her look atractive.
2. Being out with friends and displaying a happy demeanour.
3. Being on her own and vulnerable.
4. Any other activity that does involve her inviting consensual sex.

Of course there are times when men genuinely misread the signals. A big clue is when a woman says "Please stop doing this" or similar words. If a lewd comment results in a woman moving away, you have been an arse. Personally I want my daughters to be able to enjoy life without hassle. I think that is the least any human being should expect.

No comments: